So I might be homeless soon.. I looked at some open houses over the weekend and everything was crap. Damit. I sold my dope place and now I look at crap. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Last week, I was sippin on $20 drinks at Lobby with Toronto's elite. (okay elite might not be the right word)

 

Its funny how with housing, certain precendents set the market. If one house sells for X, then it sets the standard for the next one. With my wonderful purchase price, I thought I set the "market" but then looking at houses and realize everyone sets their house at insane prices. Just b/c ur neighbour sells their house, doesn't mean your crappy house can sell for 25% more.  

 

A friend of mine who has down to earth competitions with got a Rolex over the weekend. He then precedent to emailing everyone telling how he was the most down to earth b/c he was the last to get a luxury watch. FYI - Tags are not luxury watches. Maybe in 1995 but its 2007. Once upon a time, I considered buying a replica watch so I must be the most down to earth.

 

There is going to be some compromise with the house. Its not going to have a prime location like my condo. Plus condos are much cheaper than houses. Toronto is a freakin large ass city but when I search for houses there are barely any for sale. It doesn't make any sense.

 

So I conditionally sold my condo today. WTF. Yes, its true .... I don't want to jinx the sale but it went down quickly and it was along day of cleaning my place to show my first and only prospective buyer. And yes, its STILL CONDITIONAL. Business lesson, its not over till the cash is handed over.

 

Funniest question she asked me was "How do you clean the windows vents?"

 

Lady - do I look like I know how to clean ? I was going to respond ask my nice maid Maria but that isn't down to earth so I didnt respond. I guess the typical Bloor street condo dweller doesn't know anything about cleaning. I'm not alone.

 

Favorite memories of Bloor street ....

 

- Calling the nightshift doorman "Louuuuuuu" everytime I come back from the bar at 3am for 7 years and then realizing his name was Joe after he retired after 23 years at the condo. Somehow between my drunkeness his name turned into Lou ... even though I knew his name is Joe. How is this possible? I should ask a neurosurgeon.

 

- The past month, this elderly couple asked me every week if I'm Andrew Chan and every week we relive the exact same conversation. No, I'm not Andrew Chan and no, I'm not your landlord but I will glady accept your rental payments if you want.

 

- The time San the doorman came to my party and started hitting on girls and people were weirded out by my 40 year old doorman wearing his shiny green blazer.

 

- The time my friend Josh ran into the the driveway and damaged the wall and tried to bribe the doorman with free concert tickets

 

- The time the same friend sleep with Joe in the lobby one night b/c I wouldnt pick up the phone b/c I was tired

 

- Two Kegs, some cheesies and lots of kilts

 

- One pinata, one small shirt and one blindfold

 

- The night of the burning chicken wings, burning down your condo while cooking chicken wings is not recommended - always eat out when you go out and get older and u can easily fall asleep for hours and not realize you were cooking chicken wings

 

Bye bye Yorkville, Hello BBQ. (tentative signed deal is a conditional offer)

 

 

 

My friends and I have down to earth competitions ....

 

How do you judge being down to earth ...  its one of the toughest standards to judge.

 

How to not show off :

 

1. Eat down to earth foods like chicken wings

 

Eating chicken wings shows that you are indeed very down to earth. When I was little, chicken wings were throw out and not sold at the groceries stores or served at restaurants as it was consider bargain meat and not worthy for consumption.

 

I eat chicken wings so I am down to earth.

 

2. Drive a V6 BMW vs a V8 BMW.

 

This shows you are considerate about the environment as well as not concerned about image. Does a 550i really matter 30 digits over a 530i?

 

3. Never say you are down to earth

 

4. Play monopoly with the fake money they give you instead of real money.

 

5. Bet friends you are more down to earth than they are

 

6. Wear a real Rolo but tell people its a fake

 

7. Tell people you are not a brain doctor

 

8. Work 12 hours a day but tell people you work only 8

 

9. Drink Champagne every other day

 

10. Wear Gucci instead of Prada

 

So I got some new goods today: a Motorola Razr cell (I know, its about 2 years late, but its a solid phone) and some Johnson Acuvue Oasys contacts. Both so far are pretty good... the new Oasys let in more oxygen than ever before and Costco contacts are a great great deal. $200 for a year's supply ! 

 

My previous cell phone was a LG ...well was pretty pathetic.... it was a girl's phone, alot of girls have it for some reason. anyways LG products suck. LG is formerly 1980s "Goldstar" brand, doesn't that say it all?  

 

If you do anything right in your lifetime, just don't buy LG.

 

My Razr was of course free but had to pay a $25 new phone transfer fee. One thing I noticed right away, its soo much easier to text message now. Before it took me a few minutes to send a short text, I just didn't bother wasting my time. Now I can...

 

Movie review: Vacancy with Kate Beckinsale and Luke Wilson about checking into an evil hotel... pretty dam good. Worth a look..

 

 

 

So I picked up the Toyota Hybrid last week and have been driving it alot. I've already left the car running outside accidently for a few hours while grabbing a drink. Dam that car is quiet. It has a push button start so no key is needed hence I left the car running on the side of the street.

 

When you drive the car, a few things comes to mind, the movie Back to the Future ... the car just sort of hovers around and feels like there is no engine. You never know when the car is on or not. 

 

On another note, I almost locked the key inside the car but luckily its not possible. Somehow the car senses that ur key is still inside the car and will not lock itself.

 

I feel like I'm in California sometimes now driving this car as its cool and hip to drive hybrids but I'm sure if I left the car running in California, it would not be still there.

 

 

What NOT to do on vacation:

 

1. Solicit anyone

 

2. Get Lost in Tiamenen Square without your passport

 

3. Sight see

 

4. Fall off a raft

 

5. Bring no food to a remote area without food and look for food in an abandoned fishing village 

 

6. Bring a girl (kidding)

 

7. Bump into Jamie Fox in the VIP

 

8. Bring your cell phone

 

9.  Invite people to free tacos

 

10. Bring a city tour book

 

 

 

I eat alot of chinese food. Whether its lunch (dim sum), dinner or late nite.. I eat it all.

 

Chinese restaurants are open very very late and consequently there are sometimes associate with partying afterhours.

 

I'm aging so I haven't eaten late nite chinese food in awhile but as a former expert in this area, I will provide you some tips.

 

1. Never order the entire menu. No matter how hungry you are, this is not recommended.

 

2. Never invite people to free lobster.

 

3. Never order a large bowl of chicken corn soup. Ordering a small bowl is okay but still sketchy.

 

4. Never order cold tea that's not Labatt Blue.

 

5. Never invite people who don't look like they can eat much... as these are the type of people who can eat the most

 

6. Never order anything more than $8.99

 

7. Never pay for anyone

 

8. Never pay for two people

 

Whats happens in a chinese restaurants, Stays in a chinese restaurant !