Is blogging for guys a secret way to have a diary that is socially acceptable?

 

March Madness

 

64 things that are mad or just create madness

 

- Is it every year, TTC is in bargaining negotiations with its employees - why does a TTC toll collector earn $25 bucks an hour - they don't even hand out tokens in a friendly manner

 

- Why is it always cheaper to buy tokens at $2.75 as opposed to $2.00 for 5 ? (inevitably, you always lose a token or two and think you will never lose one again and try to figure out a way to organize it better 'next time around')

 

- It always seems the team you cheer for in sports loses in the end .....

 

- Why does the incompetent girl who knows nothing about sports always beat you in the sports gambling pools

 

- Why do people prefer to watch comedies with John Travolta than Will Arnette

 

- Why you can never read a newspaper review of a comedy to determine how funny it is but can read a review of a drama or thriller and get a good sense if its good

 

- See above and throw in romantic comedy

 

- Why married people always have the most advanced digital camera

 

- Why in your thirties, the longer one of your friends has been married is an indicator of their lameness (try this, randomly think of say 10 friends ... and then rank them according to how long they have been married or equivalent .. and then rank them in their lameness )

 

- Why do people think Puff Daddy is cool ?

 

- Does a b. registry say anything about someone?

 

- Why do people need a PVR if tv is so bad

 

- What is it like to have no doormen? Its like you are waiting for someone and they never come.

 

- What's it like to drive a Turbo SUV ? Think jetski. Seriously it drives like a jetski.

 

- Whats the hippest thing this fall? Do I look like I live on Bloor St. I live on Sheppard. Its hip to talk about the circumference of babies heads. 

 

I just found something fun - checking out other people's registries online to see what they ordered... quite quite entertaining.

 

Type in Champagne

First initial R

 

In addition to a cool last name, this person registered .....

 

 

a Large $6 Pink Bikini that has been discontinued - and it was bought . Sweet.

 

 

 

 

so I did the w. registry today ... ideally, would of wanted to do Costco but did the conventional Bay. The only way Bay makes money as it seemed only people who were in the entire 7 floor store were people who had scanners. They give you a scanner and you scan everything you want and then it goes directly to your registry. You can even scan from a book. The "registeries" must be big business.. the only way people actually shop at the Bay.

 

Scan some juicemakers, toasters, dishes, the typical boring w. stuff.  The bay has their own brand Beaumark which I doubt anyone with their right mind would register for.

 

It was very amusing to see couples register ...  my blog definitely had the cutest fiance. 

 

http://www.hbc.com/registry/find.aspx?gs=GIFTREGISTRY&site=bay&langid=EN (check it out)  I wanted to scan "funny" items for amusement but was not allowed.

 

I also want to register at auto dealership for a german stationwagon since I'm very suburban.

 

The registry is just something people do ... a guide .. it seems like everything is a guide. The Bay gives you "a guide" on how many items to scan and how many items in what price price to scan at... I'm sure this "guide" is alittle bit on the biased side to make you scan more or force people to get you ridiculous waffle makers than take up half your kitchen space.

 

I was in the Saddledome watching Hulk Hogan slam Andre the Giant on pay per view. In those days they called it closed circuit television.

 

21 moments I can recall since then ... alittle sad I can recall exactly on Sunday March 29, 1987 the bodyslam around the world but not much else.

 

1987 - Hulk Hogan slamming Andre the Giant

1988 - seeing Katrina Witt skate live at the Saddledome

1989 - watching the flames winning the stanley cup at the dining room table

1990 -  voted class president of my junior high school (not student body but each class had a president for some reason)

1991 - beverly hills 90210 premieres

1992 - get first car and race to school like the Daytona 500 on the Trans Canada

1993 - graduate without any fanfare

1994 - university

1995- blur

1996 - blur

1997 - blur

1998 - blur

1999 - blur

2000 - blur

2001- blur

2002 - blur

2003 - blur

2004 - blur

2005 - blur

2006 - blur

2007 - blur

2008 - live in the suburbs

 

 

 

Still getting lots of email about the berber, I'm saturated with berber emails. Everyone wants berber is seems. Berber really came back ten years ago but its been going strong ever since.

 

I got a new Panasonic cordless phone. Got one of those 3 phones in one which is perfect since we only have two outlets in the house. It works on one central phone outlet and the other two phones don't need an outlet. Panasonic makes a solid cordless with a great speakerphone. Blog approved. Never buy a V-tech, its V-Crap.

 

I got some FutureShop giftcards from my visa points but the phone wasn't on sale but FutureShop matches so they matched BestBuy website price of $59. The price guarantee is funny, they match any competitors price and give you 10% ! Sounds great but my discount amounted to $3. The difference in price was $30 minus the 10% is only $3.

 

I still had over a couple hundred left in giftcards so I think I'm going to get a new dig camera. Surprisely not much new in dig cameras although they have some funky features like a smile shutter which takes pictures automatically if you smile :)

 

Just got some blinds in the house ... now just drapes to go.

 

As reported first on this blog, drapes are the most expensive thing in the entire world. Its more than a top tier Armani suit. You could drape yourself in the finest fashions and it still wouldn't be the cost of drapes.

 

One saleslady had the audacity to say they had a buy one get one promotion for blinds and then tell me it would cost $1800 for two rooms. Blinds are a fraction of the price of drapes. Of course, I didn't go for the buy one get one free promotion. Heck, I wouldnt go for a buy one get 100 for free promotion. They are blinds not seven diamond blogs.

 

 

Selling on craiglist. You can sell everything on there for free. Tickets, furniture, etc.

 

Its even fun search on craiglist. Its the modern day classified ads.

 

Today I posted 2 items for sale and I just sold one of them.

 

Berber carpet sold out in seconds . I had this berber carpet that had to be removed for the Jacuzzi and its been lying in two separate chunks in the garage making it dificult to drive in. Its a nice berber, the standard carpet for basements worldwide and condos.

 

Well why not try to throw it on craiglist and see what happens... I just wanted someone to remove it for free but sold it for $75. Woohoo.

 

I also listed three bridesmaid dresses and got no replies. What the ck !

 

I guess bridesmaid dresses aren't as important as berber carpet.

 

Craiglist started off as ads searching for people on subways and Starbucks.

 

"To the guy who was at Starbucks on 5th and 8th today in the brown shirt. Message me"

 

Now its a place to sell ripped out berber carpet. I'm glad I am so enviro-friendly by reselling this new carpet (which is basically recycling) b/c I felt bad removing new carpet but you can't have carpet in a jacuzzi room. Its just not environmentally or asthetically friendly. And it freaks of those 80s homes with shag carpet in the bathroom and big ceramic jacuzzi. My next door neighbour in Yorkville had one of these and would of been one of the hottest bachelor pads in the day.

 

 

 

27 Dresses - bridesmaid dresses - a typical romantic comedy - nothing really good but nothing really bad .. 

 

How this story hasn't come out in a movie before is amazing ... a lonely girl who always is a bridesmaid but never a bride. MMM what are romantic comedy writers thinking.. maybe all these writers are women and my blog should write a romantic comedy.

 

I think I could come up with something. Let me get back to you.

 

Unfortunately with movies like these, the trendyness of weddings sky rockets and being trendy or keeping up with these hypothetical movielike expectations.

 

Everyone thinks they are J-Lo wedding planner or Katherine Heigl as the 27th bridesmaid ...

 

Reality check - watch Rich Bride Poor Bride and check out a typical wedding planner. They are twice the size of my blog literally and figuratively.

 

Believing in this stuff is believing in the Easter Bunny provides you fat free chocolate. Maybe if you eat enough of it, you too can be a wedding planner some day.

 

 

 

 

 

You tube is a good place to search out some music. I was lookin old 80s sitcoms like Perfect Stranger and I came across one of the most spectular videos.

 

Type : Heather Locklear into youtube and your computer will never be the same ever again.

 

Or type TJ Hooker (tv show)

 

Oh mamma.

 

 

As you know comedy is a very subjective matter ... Solomon Brothers*  - hilarious comedy. Why hasn't anyone seen this? Why hasn't it got good reviews? This was pure comedy. Maybe humor is different from blog to blog but Wild Hogs making 100 plus million and this movie making less than a million again tells us something. Sure there is the economic crisis, global warming and everything seems too pricey but what about the humor crisis?

 

 

 

 

Have u seen Dance Crew ?

 

* if you don't pee your pants laughing you are not human

 

So I am reading alot of politics lately, mainly on my friend's blog but nevertheless I was thinking of a new more entertaining political debate.

 

A politcal debate with a lie detector - sort of like the show Moment of Truth where they strap a lie detector to a contestant and they answer yes or no.

 

Now that would be a politcal debate for the ages. Don't tell me everyone in the entire world wouldn't watch.

 

 

 

My blog rarely discuss business but everyone is talking about "the market" and Bear Stearns. Poor i-bankers in Manhattan, you got to feel sorry for them. Trying to get rich off people who can't afford their homes and charging them ridiculous interest rates in small print. Too bad, soo sad.

 

Prices for tuxedo's in Manhattan have gone down. Woohooo. This is quite an exciting development.

 

Blog tip of the day: Everything is so easily explained with hindsight.

 

Just watching CNN now saying that this is the worst financial crisis since the second world war.

 

Although CNN is more educated than my blog, which is over 15,000 visitors (although most of them are repeat visitors) is thinking this is media hyperbole.

 

I would wager my $1000 gold watch* and my $100 a barrel cartel of oil in my hometown against this media headline.

 

Has my blog ever been wrong?* (*except for spelling mistakes)

 

 

 

 

 

Beware of Toronto duty free stores, I'm not so sure about the "duty free" as I got a nice bottle of cognac on my way to China but then saw the same bottle in China airports for almost 30-50% cheaper than Toronto airport duty free stores... then I checked my visa bill and looks like a private company runs the duty free stores. Advice - don't buy cognac in Toronto when going abroad.

 

My blog is going to the Big Apple soon so get ready. I think I'm going to get a tux there since there is much more selection there. Good news - my two most fashionable friends live there. Bad news - my two least budget conscious friends live there. I am trying to hit an outlet store and hopefully find something reasonable.

 

As I booked my $100 ticket to New York City, I read an headline in the Star about escalating air travel due to oil prices. Who writes this stuff? Is my blog the only real source of information. As for taxes, there are $75 on the way there (Cdn taxes primarily) but only $35 on the way back (US taxes). I realized the inequality since I booked two separate tickets.

 

I can't believe its mid-March ... the entire tv season was shot due to the writers strike and you and my blog barely noticed... is tv that bad nowadays?

 

I always thought of my blog as a seven diamond blog but after all the newstories, maybe its only a middle of the road blog afterall. What qualifies you as a seven diamond blog. This is a very very interesting question and I can't image anything.

 

 

One of my favorite games when I was a kid in gym class was "What time is it Mr. Wolf?"

 

What time is it Mr. Wolf?

 

Its 4 oclock. (move four steps towards the wolf)

 

What time is it Mr. Wolf?

 

Its 10 oclock (move 10 steps towards the clock)

 

What time is it Mr. Wolf?

 

Its dinner time (try to run away from wolf)

 

Courthouse administration centre:

 

Man #1 - What is this word

 

Man #2 - That's if you need a translator for your court hearing?

 

Man#1 - What's a translator?

 

Man #2 - The court allows you to have a translator if you don't speak english.

 

Man #1 - What's a translator?

 

Man #2 - Do you speak English well even in court

 

Man #1 - Yes, I speak English

 

 

 

So there are very very few resources on how to buy a wedding band ...

 

There are fewer resources on how NOT to buy a wedding band ... My blog and I looked at some wedding bands in Shanghai but Shanghai is arguable the most expensive place to get wedding bands unless you get on from a street vendor. So it was up to my blog alone in Hong Kong, the shopping capital of the free world. Hong Kong has it all, its like the Las Vegas of Shopping. Due to imperialism, Hong Kong has long standing roots in basically duty free zone. Duties kill you on all products  FYI.  

 

My blog had less than 24 hours in Hong Kong, arrive at noon, leave at 7pm the next day. During this time, it had to acquire watches, wedding bands and random gifts.

 

There are two Bloor streets in Hong Kong, the tourist filled Tsum Tsai Tse in Kowloon side and the Central district in Hong Kong side. Hong Kong is actually two sides divided by a bay of water. I was familiar with Kowloon due to my extensive travels as a kid in the summers but Hong Kong was very vague to me.

 

Now the how to not look for wedding bands part ... So my blog had a generally idea of what type of wedding band to get but now the question was trying to find it in less than 24 hours in a foreign city with limited langauage skills.

 

First stop - Chow Tai Fook, the most popular asian jewelry store - they sell everything from expensive swiss watches to jewelry. They had something what we were looking for but it was a little cheapy looking and they didn't have something in between. Unfortunately, I didn't know any other reputable stores since Hong Kong is filled with irreputable jewelry stores. The place is saturated with jewelry stores as Canada is with Starbucks.

 

I have to decide whether on not to get the wedding bands on the very last day. I am hungover from a bottle of expensive Sake and beers that my friend Sammie acquired the day before. So I am hungover, jetlagged and looking for wedding bands. Probably not the best way to buy your wedding bands alone, hungover in foreign city. I arrive in Hong Kong Central district, the financial capital of Asia. Its Wall Street plus Fifth Avenue combined into one street.

 

My blog basically was deciding whether to get the Cartier ring that was seen in Shanghai but a weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee bit on the pricey side or the Chow Tai Fook ring which hasn't been seen in Shanghai .. all alone, Blog had to decide on a empty stomach of sake. Do you go with the ring that you have seen or a ring than looks in the "same theme" as the ring you have seen but is fractions cheaper. Not fractions cheaper but fractions of fractions of fractions cheaper.

 

Then blog had some time to kill since the watch he got had to be ordered in a couple of hours later so he cruised into the DeBeers store. DeBeers has these luxury stores where they sell their own diamonds. The store look ultra fancy where I was surround by a couple a of cute chinese salesgirls who were fascinated with my north american accent and the fact I was looking for diamonds. Cartier salespeople were old ladies. DeBeers girls are different. They had a similar ring and it was a much more affable pricepoint but it was DeBeers, everyone knows DeBeers but people aren't familar with their retail operations. While they were looking for stock, the girls asked me to try on their watches. I tried on this $100,000 diamond encrusted watch which they explained to me they only made 400 of in the world.  Now what should I do? The girls who were "excellent" sales people compared to ther crabby Cartier old lady who didn't even me a drink which is customary in jewelry stores in Asia. Unfortunately or fortunate for me, they were out of stock. I almost got suckered into getting a DeBeers due to the cute salesgirls probably not a good idea when buying wedding bands.

 

Then I popped inot Tiffany's which was next door. Tiffany's is North America's angel of jewelry advertising, every little princess in american wants a Tiffany's... the name congues up images of something I can not explain.

 

So I get in the store and they have the exact same design ring as Cartier with small differences and the cost is about 50% ! uck me. I am alone and now am presented with a bigger dilemma: Now I have to decide whether to get a Tiffanys too. Tiffany's though to asian girls doesn't have the same hoopla as Cartier which is entrenched in the "international" jewelry world. My blog knew in its heart and head, Cartier was the one but his head was spinning b/c Tiffany's was 50% cheaper and sake was running still in his head. Dam the price inequality. It made the decision so tough ......

 

Stay tuned to see what happens....

 

 

 

 

This was the watch but the inside face was all diamonds since they only made 400 of them. I tried to use my charm to sneak out with the watch but realize I am not that charming.

 

 

Snow Days were the bestest when you kid but when you are an adult, its only good if you are on the slopes.

 

Due to the crazy weather, we had to cancel the Jacuzzi party ... another reason why we didn't hire the 8 year old boy to shovel 5 feet off snow off my driveway* since we got bulk quantity food for a cancelled party. We got a 3lbs filet, wings, brownies, chips, etc etc. All bulk items.  I think my blog might gain alittle bit of weight in the next little while.

 

Questions ....

 

Why does everything about weddings hold true .. the saying, you better book early or else everything gets booked up...

 

When does everytime you need a nail clipper, you can never find it....

 

Why isn't 24 on? is it b/c of the writers strike or Kiefer going to jail?